Broken

I remember it well. I was told I was no longer required. That she did not love me anymore. After many years. Years of being one. Now we were broken.The news hit hard.

I was angry. Just like that, after years together I was cast out. I packed my bags and walked out.

I swore under my breath, and sometimes not.

I wanted the whole world to know that I had been done wrong.

That I was right and you were wrong.

Of course I had a right to be, did I not?

But how useful was it for me to hold onto my rightness? How helpful was it? How did it help me to move on? I was stuck in a holding pattern of my own making.

The realisation came when a friend of mine said he was angry for me. “Wow” he was not even affected, hardly knew you and HE was angry!? Was that not my emotion? Was I not the one entitled to my anger?

It did not take me all that long to see this slightly differently. Maybe I had to use my emotion differently?

Emotions are very strong indicators. And so they should be. Anger is a strong emotion hence we better pay attention. But they are only indicators. Beyond that they are not very useful. Just like wishing the oil light to stop flashing is not very useful so is wishing that I was not so angry. Best use that indicator in a positive way and fix the problem and get to move on. That is maybe more helpful!

I came to realise that I was grateful. Grateful for being kicked out of the nest.

Grateful for being forced to fly.

The fit had not been right and we both knew it.

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