In the absence of the legendary Velotales expose here is my experience of riding off the end of the earth.

“It’s something unpredictable but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life” Green Day.

And yes I did.
I have ridden with Captain Craig plenty and only once got on the Dane Train (Somewhere between Op die Tradouw and Montague when he towed Team Oryx with metronomic precision for what seemed like hours on end.). When I got the tentative “What you doing in August?” I knew I had to get fitter than I had ever been and that I probably had to hold whatever wheel I could and find pockets to the best of my ability. Enter the Tankwa Training Camp about 7 weeks out.

Team events are all poker face. Claim you don’t have any cards until you do and then play the cards all the way to the end. Dane claimed that he was unfit. However a few weeks out he posted an easy ride into a headwind….., fasted….. The cat was out the bag.
Craig could not fake his hand. As a consequence he spent most of the day stoking the steam engine! Massive thanks for your effort and patience.
I have just entered the power meter game and left dubious power values dangling out in the stream of Strava waiting if somebody would bite. Clearly I was up against pros as the Olympic efforts were a little too Olympic to fool anybody who knew anything. If you don’t know who the fish is…

Dane played a clever game of sitting just behind me for a lot of the ride. He knew exactly how much effort was required and his moral support was most welcome. Dane was more the conductor checking tickets than feeding logs into the fire.
And then there was me. Finding any shadow or reprieve I could. I was here to learn and observe.
Secretly I was hoping to be able to conserve myself early on and then contribute later in the day. Put it this way my contribution was that I made tea with my waffle at CP7 and that I did not implode completely.

“Can we climb this mountain? I don’t know” The Killers.
I asked Dane if this was The Mother of All Climbs (MAC). The reply of “Absolutely not” shut me up for good. He said something about Baboon Ridge which did not assist me in orientating my rookie mind in what was to come. I assumed we had done The Fangs. I also knew that it was never ‘the named’ that gets you. Its the ‘little’ unnamed sister that you have to watch out for. (For those of you doing DC for the first time: the bump before the three sisters is not a sister. More like an ugly aunt that nobody invites to Christmas lunch.) So too Baboon Ridge.
When MAC arrived my central governor protested for the second time and decided to start with a cramp. I knew the signs and chugged the pickle juice.

Craig was up the road but Dane saw me dismount, if only briefly. Methodical grind I could manage but stretching the elastic too much threatened parachute action. It was a fine line.
We got to CP4 (about half way) and I needed to switch my brain on pretty quick. Being in a long term relationship couples tend to build their own language and way of doing things. Close to 40 rides down the Baviaans between my two team mates meant they had this thing dialed. I knew I did not understand what was being said but when I noticed a sideways glance I knew I had to get rolling out of the checkpoint.
And roll we did. Keep it cool and take a good line down the steep dirt roads off Bergplaas. Follow the wheel and don’t overdo any of the turns.

Then the bottom of the kloof was beautiful as I allowed myself to gaze up at the cliffs from a past life. Out of the kloof and towards CP5 and the amazing support of Mel with a refuel and gear for the coming darkness.

Up the Neverender climb (more like an endless head down and pedal). Craig was the first to crack and turn on his light. We were both pleased as it was getting a little grey. A strange calm settled over the race. The main course of the Baviaans Kloof was behind us. The intoxication of beverages was building as we watched the lights in the distance. That part of the dinner party where everybody has had a bit too much too drink but the evening is not done yet. We still had to reach the finish line in Jeffrey’s.

We were rolling quite well after I had to stop to zip up my gillet (I am not pro enough to do this while on the go). At some point we caught The Normies and tried to roll past. A couple of their riders were flagging and their leader was nursing them home. As we made the pass they clearly had a “the talk” and attacked. We knew better than to fight back.

The last few miles of single track felt like that moment when you leave the party, underdressed, standing in the cold outside the front door, waiting to get into your car, and somebody starts to tell a joke.

The Burger and Beer at the finish tasted oh so good. It was quite a privilege to ride this event in the team I did and not fall off the end of the world. Thanks Dane, Craig and Mel for making this possible!

The team gees continued for a few weeks as we all came down with Kloof Cold post ride. Two weeks later I start the build towards the race up the Three Sisters and the ugly aunty, with Team Oryx.

And so concludes 10h08 with the Speeding Seal Spirit Masters down the Baviaans and a top 20 place to boot.