pain

It has been an interesting last 7 months to say the least. I started with lower back, glute and hamstring pain all on my right side. This was not debilitating to the point of making me stop running. I just knew that I was always running sub par and there was this annoying niggle which would not go away. In fact it was more than a niggle. It was a real pain in the butt. It would come and go and when it stayed too long I would want to throw my shoes into the nearest bin and never run again.
My approach initially was to do whatever exercise/rehab was necessary to get this injury over with as soon as possible so that I could get back on track to my lofty goals…. As soon as possible.
It took about 5 months of the most painful lyno therapy for me to realise that this was not working. I was depressed and I was in a deep hole.
I had this niggling question in my mind: “why do we hold on to this injury? what purpose does it serve?”. I sought answers.
The “Aha” moment for me came one wet Saturday morning. I knew that I could only run for 30 mins otherwise the wheels would come off again but needed to get out and stretch my legs a bit so I took Tony Louren’s new Table Mountain Classics book and headed up Eastern Buttress on Devil’s Peak. I ended up in a wet, mossy gully with attention focussed and knuckles white….
Finally I traversed onto my favourite Mowbray Ridge and back down. After 2 hours on the hill my mind felt better than in weeks and my ache was no worse.
What was going on here?
Roger passed on this article on pain by Todd Hargrove. Ah the pain I was feeling was from my brain and not by body. Makes sense.
I need to focus on the now to leave my pain body behind as Eckhardt Tolle writes in “The Power of Now”. In fact this book turned into a pivotal point in my recovery. I have always lived either in the future (working on goals) or thinking what I could have done differently in the past. Now I was forced to live in the now.
I am not 100% yet by a long shot but I am certainly not injured any more. I am having to take every day as it comes and build my self up to some kind of fit. In fact today my arms feel tired like they have not in ages.
I have learnt not to follow therapists word like gospel but decide what I like from each one and discard the rest. I am trying to feel ok with telling them that I don’t want to stretch. I am learning to listen to my body more and try to do what is right and not what I think should be right. This is a long road and I know not where it is taking me I just know I like the view right now. I will pursue this path and I guess you can call that fighting spirit.

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