With friends now gone I first looked into the deep blue sea. From the relative safety of the Frontal we traced the lines of the Horror Crack, Zig-zags Into Infinity Base and where Jeremy and Jeremy had played in the sky.

The stained glass windows of a cathedral are meant to be experienced from inside and not viewed from the outskirts of the grounds.

There was a trip with a girl which did not leave base camp.

Later I plucked up the courage to step through the doors. I was ambitious and Ross was strong. I almost fell off the free moves. Our pack of fear dragging us down. I peed on my foot on Bev’s Bivy and watched on, bemused. Feeling warmth, feeling something real.

Then I recall (quite badly apparently) a rainy night in camp with Tristan and Mark. Squeezed into a tent, or was it an overhang? Bailure followed. Not before witnessing lightning on the hills to the east.

I got to stand on those hills to the east last weekend. I got another look into the Ocean of overhangs and dreams. Distance gives perspective. Like time. Like friends.

I am here, now.
A world away.
That was then, this is now.